Proverbs 17—A Test Such as Loss Calls for a Discerning Response

In the immediate hours following my wife’s death, I was barraged with shock and confusion. However, in one moment of clarity I said, “I do not want to dishonor Kim, and I do not want to dishonor God in the way I respond.”

When loss strikes, you recognize very quickly that you face a test.

“The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and the Lord tests hearts.” Proverbs 17:3

Loss is like a crucible. Loss is like a furnace. If silver and gold are not immune to the crucible and the furnace, your heart will be tested. And the Lord does test the heart. Jerry Sittser helped me in his book A Grace Revealed: How God Redeems the Story of Your Life. Sittser claims circumstances are neutral—like props; they simply provide scene and setting through which God redeems the story of your life.

Likewise, tests such as loss are scene and setting for your sanctification, for your growth. These difficult circumstances are no less painful, but loss proves purposeful as a significant moment in the micro story of your life.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

Loss is a time to humble yourself and receive the spontaneous love of the body of Christ. The beautiful observation I made was that it was God himself weaving this tapestry of ministry for me. My church family, my family, and my friends were not responsible to oversee the ministry. They were responsible to respond to God. He was the maestro leading the orchestra of ministry. My role was to receive the ministry, face my loss, grieve well, seek to walk in integrity, and begin to heal.

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

Just two chapters ago, in Proverbs 15:13, we read, “A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.” Sorrow does crush the spirit. Happiness is elusive and is based on circumstances. But don’t miss this: joy is not based on circumstances. Joy is based on the finished work of Christ and the good news of the gospel.

Grief is like an injury, an illness. And a joyful heart—enthused by the gospel story—is good medicine that sustains a crushed spirit. This is ground zero for your battle and is an opportunity to spread the good news.

And this gospel story is very good news. And this story’s good medicine brings joy even in the sorrow of loss.

“The discerning sets his face toward wisdom, but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth.” Proverbs 17:24

Your question to answer is this: Are you going to submerge yourself in the gospel story—which is true wisdom—or are you going to look to every other would-be answer to help you as you face your grief? Proverbs 17:24 points you to set your face toward pure wisdom. This proverb encourages you to be discerning and not foolish. Solomon warns you that fools scan the horizon—even to the ends of the earth—looking for a better answer. He warns you that there are many options vying for your attention. A fool has a compulsion to search for meaning. Meaning is in the pages of the gospel narrative. The Bible holds the meaning and the answers they seek.

“Contemplate the wisdom that we shall have no other gods before him.” Wayne E. Oates, Your Particular Grief

In the test of loss, set your face toward wisdom. Refuse to entertain eyes tempted to look away from the gospel story.