“Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart. …Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin. The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance…” Proverbs 21:2, 4-5
This oft-repeated warning bears repeating, once again. Do not trust your own eyes, especially in the depths of loss. Left to your own thinking will blind you with your haughty eyes that look outward from your pained yet proud heart.
The Lord weighs your heart. Like everyone else, you are infected with sin. Add grief and it’s worse. Be diligent to seek out the ways of the Lord. Confess your pride and sin. Diligence will lead you away from the poverty of your own life to the abundance of the Lord.
“One who wanders from the way of good sense will rest in the assembly of the dead.” Proverbs 21:16
This choice is more dire than you might think at first. If you’re looking through eyes from a heart of pride, you won’t easily see the danger you face. And in the depths of loss, you face a different level of danger. You’re vulnerable. If you wander away from good sense you are heading for the assembly of the dead. It’s that serious.
“Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.” Proverbs 21:21
In the pit of grief, pursue the ways of the Lord. Pursue righteousness and kindness and you will find life. John 10:10 says, “…I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Verse 21 in this proverb says we pursue righteousness and kindness, and we’ll find life, righteousness, and honor.
Such a posture, such a perspective acknowledges the serious nature of this battle. John 10:10 also says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” There is a thief that seeks to mislead you to have a haughty heart filled with pride. This thief affirms your way is the right way. This thief argues with you like he argued with Eve in Genesis 3:4, “You will not surely die.” John 8:44 warns about this thief: “When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
Guard your heart against the lies of this thief.
Especially in grief.
Pursue righteousness. Pursue kindness. And you will find life, righteousness, and honor.
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” Proverbs 21:23
Knowing that your heart, your spring, is haughty by nature requires you to keep a guard on your mouth. This goes for you as one who suffers loss, and it goes for one who gives advice to one facing loss. Be not wise in your own eyes. Speak out of humility of heart. Keep your mouth and tongue—or hold your mouth and tongue—and you will keep yourself out of trouble. Job’s friends did not keep their tongues. Likewise, I’ve also heard people suffering grief malign the name of God by speaking lies. Even with good intentions.
Keep your mouth and tongue and stay out of the trouble brought on by speaking lies from within your pain.
“No wisdom, no understanding, no counsel can avail against the Lord. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord.” Proverbs 21:30-31
The lesson in the wisdom of this proverb is clear. Do not turn to your own heart or even any horse that is ready for battle. Do not trust your own eyes. Turn only to the Lord. His is the victory. No other wisdom, understanding, or counsel from any other source will prevail.
Read the E-book Facing Loss: Lessons of Hope from My Unwanted Journey