Pleasant Trust Instead of the Snare of Anger in Proverbs 22

“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.” Proverbs 22:1

I have new perspective on this verse and the idea that a good name is important. The way I walk through grief is important because I represent my own name and a good one is better than any kind of riches, including silver or gold. I also recognized the importance of the name Kim left behind. She lived well and left her mark on this world. Her name was respected. But, I also realize that we represent his name. I do not want to defame the name of the Lord.

“Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge, for it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, if all of them are ready on your lips. That your trust may be in the Lord, I have made them known to you today, even to you.” Proverbs 22:17-19

It’s difficult to describe loss as pleasant. However, trust is pleasant in any season, any storm. And this repeated chorus is true—incline your ear and hear wise words. Turn away from a haughty heart and humble yourself to apply your heart to knowledge.

If the words of the wise and knowledge are on your lips, it will be pleasant if you keep them, embrace them, and obey them. Why? So that your trust may be in the Lord. Your trust is not to be in yourself or in horses.

This level of discipline takes time. What does it mean to incline your ear? You must turn your ear away from every other messenger. You must turn your ear toward the words of the wise, his word. You must read the words of truth. I know I spent a lot of time in The Psalms. I journaled through every psalm. That may seem like overkill, but my ear was inclined to that book, every single psalm. I also spent time in Proverbs.

You need to be a hearer of the word and a doer of the word (James 1:22). Apply the words to your heart. Believe what you read. Walk by faith. Ignore sight. Ignore feelings. Do not deceive yourself.

These words of truth—all of them—have been given to us for all of life, including grief brought on by brokenness. These words have been given to us so that we can trust and experience pleasantness, even in grief. These are words that bolster faith. These are words that inspire courage and confidence. It is important to recognize this is not some isolated teaching.

This refrain—incline your ear to know wisdom—is a repeated teaching. In 2 Peter 1:3-4 we are reminded, “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises…” His power has granted everything to us for life and godliness—including grief journeys—through his knowledge. He has granted to us his precious and very great promises.

“Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” Proverbs 22:24-25

I feared anger knowing it was a part of the grief process. I learned anger does not have to get out of control. I knew and understood passages such as this one in Proverbs 22:24. A man given to anger is not to be befriended. I did not want to be that man.

However, I learned there are appropriate, even healthy, reasons for anger—anger at sin, Satan, and brokenness. However, the warning here is worthy of note, especially in a time of grief and loss.

Finally, I learned about the discipline of liberating lament. Complaining, without anger, is possible. And it’s biblical. And it’s healthy. It’s even liberating if you complete the cycle to the point of full trust.

Do not make friends with a man given to anger. You might learn his ways. And in grief, don’t be a man given to anger. You’ll get entangled in a snare.

Instead, incline your ear to wise words of knowledge. Instead of anger, you will experience pleasant trust.