Kim left marks in her last moments that are difficult for me. As I write in my personal journal, it’s been nine months since we lost her (as of publish date of this entry, it's been thirty months). You’d think I would remove these visible marks, these reminders, from my line-of-sight. But I haven’t done so. When Kim was overcome that tragic morning, she gripped the shower curtain before she fell. One shower ring broke. Leigh Ann explained to me how she found Kim. As she did, Leigh Ann placed the broken ring she found in my hand. I kept it. It was several weeks later that I noticed something else. I looked up at the shower curtain, and there were stretch marks and even a few slight rips. Kim's small stature slightly tore the curtain as she collapsed. Over the months, I glanced at the shower curtain to remind myself this journey is real. You need reminders—believe it or not—to keep focusing yourself on your circumstances. Your new normal. It reminds me that her demise is real. I am facing loss on a long and unwanted journey. Those marks Kim left that morning are still visible. [Note: Don't worry, I replaced the shower curtain a long time ago. And I've even vacuumed, swept, and cooked.] One morning, a thought crossed my mind: "Those are the last marks Kim left." The shower curtain almost stood as a memorial. A reminder. An initiator of pain. Sometimes I cringe. Sometimes my eyes tear up. From the shower curtain I glance at the floor where she was found. I rehearse in my mind what seemed to have happened. I don't even try, but I can't stop it from replaying in my mind. “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” Romans 12:1 On this particular morning, the reminder of pain is also a challenge for the future. Remembering the past can inspire future faithfulness. The marks she left that morning gave rise to thoughts of the many, many marks Kim left everywhere she went—from Georgia to Southern Africa to Virginia. She served. She impacted people. She mentored. She challenged others. She inspired her readers. She baked and cooked to serve people in need. She left marks. What marks will I leave behind? What marks will you leave behind? We still have today. Will we point people to his good name? I’ve heard many people, including my own children, say they feel like they’ve not impacted or left marks like Kim has left. I understand that sentiment. But we all impact others. We all play our part. This is a reminder to be more intentional and responsive to needs and opportunities. We have today. So, let’s all humble ourselves and recognize that those who go before us leave marks for us. Kim left an example for us. She would not point to herself, but she would point to the Christ she served. She would point to the worthwhile investment in the lives of people. Her husband. Her children. Her grandchildren. Her parents and family. Her friends. And the many people who have read her written works who never even had the privilege to meet her. Today, I'm challenged to leave marks on this world. “I know your works, your love and faith and service and patient endurance, and that your latter works exceed the first.” Revelation 2:19

I praise God for his kindness and goodness to us, his creation. His ways are not cumbersome. His ways are good. “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.” 1 John 5:3 So many people see God’s laws, statutes, commands, and instructions as constricting and burdensome. However, his ways are for our good. His guidance is intended as a blessing. He created me and then gives his guidance and presence to know his way to "...press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own” (Philippians 3:12). He seeks to guide us to be what he created us to be. His commands are not burdensome to us, but a loving expression of God’s best for us. “God’s call to obey is itself a grace. In this call, he is actively rescuing you from you.” Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies I know it’s much more complicated, but some see God's command to keep faith in marriage as a burden. Some hate the discipline required. Some despise the reproof. Some do not listen to the voice of their teachers or instructors. I'm grateful to my parents, Jim and Jan Davis, for being teachers in my life. They taught me that the command is a grace, and it is not cumbersome. “…and you say, ‘How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors.’” Proverbs 5:12-13 Within the first week of my loss, I turned to someone and said, “Kim and I kept our vows. It can be done.” A thousand random thoughts crossed my mind during early days of grief. Yet, I remember the clarity of this moment. I was overwhelmed with gratitude to my wife for her faithfulness and to my God for his kind intentions. He commands us to be faithful in marriage. Kim and I trusted him, committed to each other, and remained faithful through our thirty-five-and-a-half-years of marriage. We did it. We kept our vows. And it was not burdensome. His command blessed our life together. We believed him; we benefited from his statutes. Some may say we got lucky. They may say it was easy because we were a good match. I’m convinced we made it and had a good marriage because we believed his command, submitted to it, and enjoyed the benefits of walking in obedience. We made it because of his command. It was for our good to be faithful. “Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.” Psalms 37:3 We promised on July 30, 1983 before family, friends, and God to join our lives until death parted us. I need to pause to thank my in-laws, Harry and Katrena Plumblee, for sharing the blessing of their daughter with me. As painful as losing her has been, Kim and I stand as one example among so many others that it can be done. Her death has put an exclamation point on our vows and thus on our marriage commitment. “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6 Let me say it again. Death placed the punctuation mark on the end of our marriage. Keeping faith in marriage can be done. This exclamation point further reminds us that it is good when we embrace God’s ways or when we agree with him and his design. Call it submission or surrender if you want, but it is not burdensome or cumbersome. His ways are for our good. We believed God and kept our vows. “'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Matthew 5:31-32