Leave the Fool and Meet Knowledge in Proverbs 14

“The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.” Proverbs 14:1

Loss puts a spotlight on many things. If you’re a man who loses a wife, you see a spotlight on the gift of your wife, every aspect of her. You recognize how she has built her house, your home, and how she has not torn the house down. You immediately see more clearly than ever how God has blessed you and your family with the wisdom of the woman he gave to your family.

Cherish and celebrate the one you have lost. Yes, there’s pain; but know this, you can turn your pain into gratitude for the gift of the one you’ve now lost. There will be more about “her” in Proverbs 31.

“Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.” Proverbs 14:7

If you’re in loss, you’re in a difficult micro story. It matters how you process the journey. You need to preach the gospel to yourself. You need to focus on faith and not on sight. You need to ignore bad counsel. You need to leave the presence of fools. You need to focus your sights on good news, the beautiful redemptive macro story.

There you will meet with words of knowledge.

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” Proverbs 14:12

Important truths are often repeated. This lesson is one of those repeated proverbs. It’s a warning to be cautious. It’s a warning that the way you think is right may, in fact, be wrong. The way that looks or feels right in the moment may lead to death. I often share with people I meet that I have a lot of advice for men who walk through loss now.

Soak in God’s word. I’ve journaled through The Psalms and now Proverbs for a reason.

Surround yourself with godly counsel. You’re in an injured state, a vulnerable state. You need healthy eyes guarding and guiding you.

“Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.” Proverbs 14:13

If you are a friend or counselor of someone grieving, give time and space for processing. Life goes on they say. I remember the first time I got in my car after my loss to go somewhere by myself. I was shocked that the world was moving along as it had before my loss. The world moves on so quickly. In fact, the world didn’t even stop. Family and friends quickly, and appropriately, go back to life as normal. Again, life goes on.

However, the one or ones who have suffered the greatest loss need time and space. You may see a smile. You may hear laughter. However, grief is a deep injury, and pain continues below the surface.

Walk consistently and patiently with your friend.

“Those who devise good meet steadfast love and faithfulness.” Proverbs 14:22

This beautiful statement is like so many others in the books of poetry. There is an intersection of terms often used to communicate. Here steadfast love and faithfulness are met by those who devise good. This is a wonderful promise. Devise good and meet love and faithfulness.

Another such example is in Psalm 85. In this beautiful passage, righteousness and peace kiss each other.

If you’re facing loss, run from evil and devise good. As Romans 12:9 says, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” Run from evil and devise good and steadfast love and faithfulness will meet you.

“In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.” Proverbs 14:26

One significant lesson I learned is that people are watching. The way you face loss will impact others who will inevitably face loss after your journey.

If I feared the Lord and his ways through my journey, I could become a refuge for my children and others.

It matters how you steward your journey.

Walking through the deepest of pain with the joy of the Lord brings healing over time. Your heart, injured as it is, can be at peace amid the storm.

“A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh…” Proverbs 14:30