Wisdom to Withstand Temptation and Ruin in Proverbs 5

Within the first two days of my wife’s death, I remember saying to more than one person, “I do not want to dishonor God, and I do not want to dishonor Kim.” In the confusion of shock, I think I had an idea of how vulnerable I would be in the wake of loss.

We are told in Matthew 26:14, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” The prevalence of temptation and falling to temptation is an undeniable reality. Forget grief and loss for the moment. Sin is real. No one is immune. There are commands and warnings and instructions in the Bible to prepare men and women to walk in a worthy manner.

Proverbs 5 stands as one of those chapters in the Bible where the cautions and warnings are stark.

Grief and loss prepare the stage for important reminders.

“My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil…” Proverbs 5:1-3

Grief and loss mark a time to be attentive to wisdom. It’s a time to pull away to listen again to wisdom. Loss is a time to redouble efforts to keep discretion. Grief and confusion mark a moment to guard knowledge.

Proverbs 5 speaks of the forbidden woman with lips dripping with honey and smooth-as-oil speech. I want to speak of the vulnerable man. I want to speak of temptation. I want to speak of entitlement.

While withstanding a temptress may be an issue, the more significant concern is guarding your own heart, controlling your own thoughts, and watching over your own desires. A quick perusal of Proverbs 5 will scare you to death. This woman will be merciless and bring bitterness and death. Again, while a temptress is a possibility, ultimately, I need to watch over my own heart, my own desires, and my own responses to temptation. A counselor and friend told me, especially in grief, to be watchful over my own heart concerning sexual temptation and sin.

“And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth.” Proverbs 5:7

This watching over your heart really is a daily battle. It’s not for the faint of heart. But it’s as simple as listening to wisdom. It’s as simple as adhering daily to the words of knowledge. It’s as simple as embracing the grace of God to walk with him in righteousness.

It’s not an easy battle, but it does have a simple answer. And the consequences are dire.

I know I remember thinking how easy it would be to end my life on a terrible note after a wonderful marriage. Again, I could have dishonored God and Kim.

“…and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed…I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors.” Proverbs 5:11, 13

Proverbs 5 speaks of a man who ended life with a groan. He ended life consumed, overtaken by temptation. In retrospect, in the rearview mirror of sin, he admits he did not listen to the voice of his teachers. He did not lean in to and embrace his instructors. He turned to temptation and not away from it. He let his guard down. He chased after pleasure, and it ruined him.

Our ways are before the Lord. We are seen and known. Proverbs 5 reminds us to walk in wisdom to avoid destruction and ruin.

“For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. …He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.” Proverbs 5:21, 23

This chapter speaks warnings to men. The warning to avoid temptation applies to women, as well. If you’re walking through grief, you’re in a vulnerable moment. Remember, your ways are before the Lord; therefore, ponder your paths.