“But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. … Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:20, 23-24
Kim was a genuine servant. She did so much for others. And for me. The duties she or any person can do for another—cook, clean, wash, or serve in any way—can slowly but surely be replaced. You can learn to do new chores for yourself. You really can learn. It’s not fun or convenient, but it can be done. In fact, I wrote this journal entry on a personal retreat in a cabin where I had just made toast and eggs for my own breakfast.
Even I can learn to embrace new duties.
However, what I’ve learned is that the things that Kim did for me are not what I miss the most. I miss her. I miss her companionship. I miss walking through life with her by my side. I miss debriefing the day together.
I miss her presence and not her duties done for me.
“…‘and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.” Mark 10:8
Facing loss can reveal true and deep value. Oneness. Companionship. Friendship. Walking together. Not things. Not duties done. Again, I miss her presence.
There’s an important lesson here. I realized it’s very tempting to look at what God has done for us in Jesus in the same way as when we look at what another person does for us. And it’s true God has done marvelous things for us. Just look around and see the created wonder. It’s all a beautiful gift. Look into his Word and find marvelous truths of redemption and salvation. He has done so much for us. Ultimate gifts of grace. Look for his day-by-day provision. “Give us this day our daily bread” in The Lord’s Prayer is more a grateful declaration than a request for me. It’s an acknowledgment. He does give us what we need for each day. I’ve learned on my unwanted journey that he faithfully supplies. He has done so much for us. His giving is praiseworthy, and gratefulness should flow from our lips. He truly has done great things.
But greater than all the things he has done for us is this central truth: He has given us himself. Not just his marvelous deeds. Jesus became flesh and dwelt among us. Dwelt. Then he sent us his Spirit to indwell us. He is our constant companion. The hymn writer proclaims, “What a Friend we have in Jesus.” And it’s true. He’s a moment-by-moment friend.
Companionship. Not duties done.
His friendship promises true and deep value. His companionship is beyond any other gifts that come from his hand.
“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1:14