Memories of Blessings or Rotting Names in Proverbs 10

“A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.” Proverbs 10:1

Loss provided me with an opportunity. I could respond in godly wisdom and faith and make glad my father who raised me in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Or I could respond in foolishness and heap greater sorrow upon my mother. The sorrow of loss is enough. Why respond in foolishness and compound the sorrow?

They say hurting people hurt people. However, the gospel provides a way to overturn that saying. Sorrow does not have to lead to more sorrow. Nor must loss lead to foolishness.

“The memory of the righteous is a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot.” Proverbs 10:7

Within moments of learning of my wife’s passing, I fell upon the gurney before they took her body from our home. Through tears I thanked God for our years together and the gift of our children she left behind. Over the next weeks and months, I recalled many memories of our life together. At first these cascading memories were painful; however, over time the memories became a blessing. Her faithfulness and righteousness—her testimony or story—was a blessing.

The righteous who go before us leave behind memories that bless and challenge us. Their lives were impactful for the Kingdom. Conversely, the wicked will see their names decay and rot. Their lack of faith and righteousness cast a repulsive shadow. And a stench.

“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.” Proverbs 10:9

Even in the depths of loss and injury to your soul, you can make wise decisions. Walk in integrity. Do not give yourself permission to walk a crooked way. Decide wisely, walk in integrity, and walk securely. In the wake of loss, you need security of your soul and security of your way. Know this—the way of the crooked will be found out. Bad decisions and even bitterness will spill out.

“The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near.” Proverbs 10:14

Loss is a moment, a micro story, in which you are vulnerable. Wisdom is needed, and folly is not needed. The fool will open the door to a path that will lead to destruction. Ruin is near the mouth of the fool.

“Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.” Proverbs 10:17

Walking wisely in life and in loss is important for your own journey, but it is also important for those who watch you. A couple months after my loss, a colleague stopped me and thanked me for showing others how to walk through loss.

People are watching. Are you building them up or tearing them down?

If you heed instruction, you walk the path of life even in the shadow of death. If you reject the reproof of God’s word, you will lead others astray. Does your faith, the hope of the gospel, stand strong? Is the gospel’s good news enough, even in loss?

“The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish. The way of the Lord is a stronghold to the blameless, but destruction to evildoers.” Proverbs 10:28-29

Hope brings joy to the righteous. This truth is unassailable, even in the aftermath of loss. Loss gave me an opportunity. Choose the stronghold of the Lord or choose the way of destruction and wickedness. Even in loss—while happiness is fleeting—you can have joy.