“Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause…” Psalm 43:1
The fog of brokenness is impossible to navigate by sight. Journeys such as facing loss are not to be attempted in your own power. The humble confess their need for a Defender. The case is made against you, and you stand hopelessly in need of vindication.
“For you are the God in whom I take refuge; why have you rejected me? Why do I go about mourning…” Psalm 43:2
The pain of brokenness resembles rejection. From the middle of seeming rejection is where faith must prevail over the limitation of sight. Pain and mourning prevail. Refuge is needed. But in the pain of it all you are tempted to turn your questioning on the God who is your refuge. Why are you, God, rejecting? Confusion prevails.
“Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you…” Psalm 43:3-4
There is only one way to truly combat the loss, brokenness, mourning, and feelings of rejection. By submitting yourself to the light and truth of God you can navigate the journey. Light and truth lead. Feelings should never lead. Feelings should be trained to follow.
“Words mean more at night like a song. And did you ever notice the way light means more than it did all day long.” Gregory Alan Isakov, “Words”
The truth and light of God will deliver you safely and wholly to the holy hill of God. Dwell where he dwells. Stay. Approach his altar with joy. These are moments we cling to Paul’s teaching: “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). From the light of his truth, taking captive the thoughts and feelings of rejection, praise can be authentically uttered to the Lord.
Faith prevails. Because light and truth build confidence that vindication, defense, and refuge are available. The mourner embraces the guidance of light and truth through the darkness.
And yet. Pain is real. Loss and brokenness seem to have their way.
“It is no small thing to be near death and feel that the God you have served has put his hands over his ears so that he does not hear.” Dustin Shramek, Suffering and the Sovereignty of God
It matters where we focus. Are you looking to your fear? Or are you looking to light and truth delivered by the God who loves you?
“No amount of good theology is able to take the pain out of suffering.“ Dustin Shramek, Suffering and the Sovereignty of God
And yet. How do you acknowledge the real pain brought on by real loss birthed from real brokenness? You just do. Face your loss. You cry out! You ask God questions like, “…why have you rejected me?” You also ask questions to yourself, “Why are you cast down?” And you ask, “Why are you in turmoil?”
And you speak truth from light. “Hope in God.” He is my salvation and “…I shall again praise him…”
“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” Psalm 43:5