Loss brings waves of fear and pain. These recurring waves are potent. Brokenness launches an all-out attack. It can be relentless, especially in the early days.
“Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering. Prove me, O Lord, and try me; test my heart and my mind.” Psalm 26:1-2
I cannot say one hundred percent with David that I trusted God without wavering. However, I did learn to lament and ask God to vindicate me. I needed a defender. When your back is up against the wall, you’re quick to humbly entreat God for relief.
Either way, you’re in a battle. You’re being tried and tested. Moments and periods of significant loss serve as proving grounds. You’re in a trial.
“For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness.” Psalm 26:3
Everything we need for our walk with God is available in the book of God. Even pain and loss. Especially pain and loss. The Bible is the story of God restoring a broken world. His ways are evident. “For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse” (Romans 1:20). The steadfast love of God is available for us to walk faithfully. You need to train your eyes to stay focused upon steadfast love. As verses four and five say, we do not have to sit with liars, consort with hypocrites, or sit with the wicked. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness…” (2 Peter 1:3).
“By embracing the depth of…pain we are enabled to marvel at the eternal weight of glory.“ Dustin Shramek, Suffering and the Sovereignty of God
David maintains his innocence. And, in that light, he proclaims his gratitude, and he tells of the wondrous deeds of God. David is a witness to God’s eternal glory, and he loves the place where the glory of God resides.
“Do not sweep my soul away with sinners, nor my life with bloodthirsty men, in whose hands are evil devices, and whose right hands are full of bribes. But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity; redeem me, and be gracious to me.” Psalm 26:9-11
David recognizes the reality that there are enemies of God, men whose hands are like evil instruments. He humbly requests of God that he experience redemption and God’s graciousness. Nothing is deserved or earned. Romans 6:23 is clear that “…the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Given not earned.
“My foot stands on level ground; in the great assembly I will bless the Lord.” Psalm 26:12
David summarizes this psalm with an explanation as to why he trusts without wavering. His feet are on a solid and level foundation. “Behold, I am the one who has laid as a foundation in Zion, a stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, of a sure foundation…” (Isaiah 28:16).
“On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; All other ground is sinking sand…” Edward Mote, “The Solid Rock”