“…being sorrowful most of all because of the word he had spoken, that they would not see his face again.” Acts 20:38

“…death is no respecter of love.” Sheldon Vanauken, A Severe Mercy

There were conversations yet to have. We simply weren’t finished talking. Getting to know someone so deeply, becoming one, produces great joy and meaning. Especially as love matures. The other side of getting to know someone is to become known deeply—and still to be loved deeply. No conditions. Grace. Acceptance. Oneness.

Oneness is real, and separation is heartbreaking.

“Loss creates a barren present, as if one were sailing on a vast sea of nothingness. Those who suffer loss live suspended between the past for which they long and a future for which they hope.” Jerry Sittser, A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss

Yes, there were conversations yet to enjoy. Sometimes, in a conversation, I could finish Kim’s sentences. And she could finish mine. There were times after a long period of silence that Kim would say something like, “You know what?” And I would answer “Yes…” and I would say something to her that she was about to say to me. She would look at me, her mouth would drop open, and she would emphatically ask, “How did you know I was going to say that?”

Kim was gobsmacked.

I’ve been waiting to use the word gobsmacked for a long time. Kim loved the word gobsmacked. I have been looking for a good opportunity to use gobsmacked somewhere in a sentence in one of my entries. While the literal meaning is to be utterly astounded or astonished, the word gobsmacked just makes the point with gusto. It’s a word with no exclamation point needed.

For me to know what Kim was thinking or about to say shouldn’t have surprised her. It shouldn’t surprise any of us either. We spent the majority of our lives walking together. We loved each other. We invested in each other. We spent time with each other. We knew each other deeply. We were one.

“Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:23-24

God’s design for oneness in marriage is so multifaceted and multidimensional. It is so much more than simple physical oneness. Most certainly, there is the God-given gift of physical oneness. However, there’s also emotional oneness. There is oneness spiritually. There’s oneness in life purpose. Over the years you begin to enjoy the same things. It’s not uniformity; it’s growing together in oneness.

You even finish each other’s sentences until they are gone and you can’t anymore. I lament unfinished sentences.

“Your mind fluctuates from being blank to thinking again and again about the one you lost.” H. Norman Wright, Experiencing Grief

I miss Kim finishing my sentences. I miss surprising her by finishing her sentences or even knowing what she’s thinking before she even hints at it. Oneness is like that. What a gift of grace from God!

I liked it when Kim was gobsmacked.

No one’s counting, but I just used the word gobsmacked seven times in one entry. Kim would be gobsmacked. Eight times.

“He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:28

6 Comments

    • D. Ray Davis

      You get this one for sure, Dad!

  1. Annette

    For some reason I didn’t get the blog this morning?

    • D. Ray Davis

      It went out just after 10am. Check your junk folder. I’ll email you also.

    • D. Ray Davis

      Gobsmacked, indeed. Thanks, Annette.

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